Monday, January 23, 2012


Yes. Tofu. Gag. Spongy. Nastiness.

I like it. Swear. Last night I made a rendition of the "not so potato salad" from the link I posted a few weeks ago. It's good. Really Good.

I kind of cheated. The recipe called for stuff that I couldn't find anywhere so, I came up with my own & I used CANNED POTATOES, cheap, fast easy.

Don't hate on my random guesses on how much I used...

1 can diced potatoes
1/2 block of Extra Firm Tofu cubed
fresh parsley & cilantro chopped (probably about 1/4 c)
1 small red bell pepper chopped
1/2 small red onion chopped
olive oil & fat free Italian dressing (maybe 3 T)
Fresh ground Sea Salt & White Pepper (I hate black pepper)

Toss together & refrigerate overnight.

It's great. The tofu takes on the flavor of what it is mixed with & you'd never guess it wasn't a potato. Try it.


I did it.

It's official. I've done it. There are no more boxed dinner type products in our pantry. Yesterday, the girl and I went shopping for healthy alternatives and talked about how we were going to make better choices about what we snack on and the meals we have at dinner. She's pretty smart for a 6 year old. When she got in from school she says, "so mom what healthy snack are we eating today?" She chose strawberries! Awesome.

Get this... I rode my bike this morning 5.2 miles! Holy crap. I downloaded this app for my iPhone called Cycle Watch and not only did it have a GPS (in case I got lost in my own hood) but, it also kept up with miles, time & how many calories I burned. Surprisingly I did it under 30 minutes...don't know if that is good time or not but, I did it! Supposedly the app posts your results to Facebook but, I didn't see it on my know it didn't really happen if it wasn't on Facebook!!

I'm currently an app-addict. My awesome neighbor introduced me to Lose It! DOWNLOAD it now! It is so cool! It keeps up with what you eat, tells you how many calories you need to eat daily to lose X amount of weight per week and the coolest thing is that it has a bar-code scanner. You just scan what you are eating and it pops right up! I've been a scanning fool! Even my cheap-o products from ALDI show up! Awesome.

I've got all the tools that I need to get this HOT BODY underway. Motivation. Check. Healthy Food Options. Check. Will Power. Chiggity Check Check. Watch out people, I'm about to get my grove back!


Tuesday, January 17, 2012


As I sit here on the last day of our Trade Show in New Orleans, I feel sad, overwhelmed, disgusted and all around blah. I am so excited about how fantastic our booth looks and how everyone has been so positive and uplifting and encouraging about my new clothing line for photogs (never thought that would be on my resume) yet, I feel a huge amount of blah. Just blah. There are thousands of photographers here at this Expo so, I get one to take some shots of me at the booth. I am pumped. I sit down, look through the images and I want to vomit. Tears well up in my eyes. I look awful. I scurried off to the potty to get myself together & I look at myself in the mirror & I see pretty. I see me. Just normal me. Why is it, when I look at myself in the camera I see complete & utter disgust for myself? I don't get it.

Boo hoo.

Well, lets see. Operation hot body is a fail. I feel as though I should call an "abort mission" on this bitch. I'm not even a week in. I'm not going to quit. I'm going to keep on trying to make better choices about what I eat. I'm typing this as I sit in the home of the most amazing food ever. New Orleans has the most unbelievable food I've ever eaten. On day one I had, roasted duck pizzetta, with thyme jelly & guyere cheesee - my mouth is watering thinking about it! Then, I ate a fried oyster salad, yeah the fried oysters kind of defeat the whole "salad" thing... but they were FRESH OUT THE GULF fried oysters and it had hunks of bacon on it that were the size of my eyeball, I swear they scraped that fat straight off a pig standing in the kitchen!! Oh, y'all...last night I ate shrimp & crab tacos. One word - orgasmic. Did I mention the Dominoes pizza I ordered after being at the casino & on Bourbon Street all night??? Fatty fatty phen phen. Seriously. Seriously. I've got to get serious when I get back.

If you see me running around the block like Jessie Owens, just know it's on purpose. My car isn't broke down, I didn't steal anything & I'm not being chased. I'm sittin' on swole & bout to work it out.

See, all you haters...THIS IS WHY I BLOG. Now, I feel better about myself. All I needed to do is get it off my chest. Isn't there some saying about, the first step to feeling better about yourself is admitting your faults? Aye, probably not. Sounded intellectual though.


Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Starting Fresh

Today is starting out good, considering. I mean, I've only been awake an hour. I have a cup of coffee (which I will never give up, never) and a bowl of Kashi Go Lean oatmeal with extra protein and I'm gonna have an apple as a snack in a bit. Yay.

Yesterday was one of those days where I just felt like Debbie Downer. Ol' Negative Nancy was I. I felt like there was something that needed to be done but, I just couldn't figure out what it was. I'm guessing being closed the past few weeks has done a number on me. I kept getting this overwhelming feeling of "oh shit." I've yet to figure out why. But, I tried to make it all better by getting a bacon cheeseburger, fries and diet coke to even it out. It didn't work.

I started writing this morning and got side tracked. Who knows why. I don't have adult ADHD or anything like that. I just get on a task and then get interrupted and interrupted and interrupted and I have to start over and forget what I was doing to start with. The interruption this morning was doggy poo on the floor. Freaking dog. How do you potty train a dog anyway? I say, "come on Jax, come on Jaxy boy, let's go potty, come on buddy, potty, seriously, come on Jax, Jax, dammit, dammit dog go!" That doesn't seem to be doing the trick. My other dog is potty trained, crate trained and a good girl but, she came that way.

Anywho, today has been good. Had my coffee and oatmeal this morning, got side tracked on the apple snack, went to the studio and worked a bit, came home had a huge brightly colored salad, (that was fabulous by the way) and then had a few pear slices. I've also only had 1 diet mt. dew (the devil) and I drank a couple glasses of water. The whole drink 8 glasses of water a day thing really gets me. Do you not pee yourself to death? Seriously. Drink water, pee, drink water, pee, drink water, pee, repeat. I don't have time to go pee. I've got crap to do. If I keep drinking the water will my bladder get used to all the extra liquid??

Here's something that I randomly realized today while eating my brightly colored salad, radishes serve no purpose. I thought they were spicy or had a kick to them, not these. It was like eating a water chestnut, no purpose. Told ya, random thought.

Back to yesterday, I went grocery shopping. I bought the produce section out boy! I got red grapes, avocados, pears, cremini mushrooms, baby bellas, cilantro, parsley, radishes (waste o' money), carrots, yellow and red bell peppers, garlic, onion (red & yellow), lettuce, spinach, red cabbage, sugar snap peas and get this...TOFU. I bought flippin' tofu. I found a recipe for potato salad (from the salad link I posted on Monday) that says to add in tofu with the potato that way you vamp up the protein and have the same texture as the potato without as many carbs. We shall see about this. I will keep you posted on my tofu-ee. I also bought lots of ground turkey. I love ground turkey. I never ever buy ground beef, not even for burgers, it makes me happy! I got lots of spices too. If you haven't checked out the spice section in your local gro sto lately, you should. McCormick has these little neato packs of spices that are already measured out for you with the recipe on them, genius. I got a couple to try out, I will let you know how that works out too!

Let's talk turkey people! Like I said, I like the ground turkey. I like it a lot....

Yep, that is how much I like it! I have learned a few things about the ground turkey though and that is number one - it's better when you chop it small, the big hunks of meat can get kind of a weird spongey feeling if you leave them huge. I'm not talking grind them up to taco hell quality meat but, chop it smaller than normal for chili and taco salads and such. The second is that when you are making turkey burgers, do not add in a bunch of seasoning then knead the meat like dough. It gets this strange consistency that totally grosses me out and it will probably gross you out too. If textures don't bother you, disregard all of the above! I put ground turkey in everything! You can make chili, meatloaf, taco salad, well - anything that you put ground beef/chuck in, duh-ruh.

More turkey talk, turkey breast! Whole turkey breast can feed you for days! Swear to it and you can put that mug in a crock pot! There are 2 options in the frozen turkey section, boneless and well, not. I usually go with boneless because, I don't want to dig the bones out when it's cooked and it's easier and I like easy. These stupid little birds come with gravy attached to them. Throw it away. It's liquid fat. Trust me, you won't miss it. If you don't thaw out your birdy before you put it in the crock pot getting the gravy packet off can be a real biatch so, thaw the bird! Now, you need a bigger crockpot, not a little tiny one. I'm not crockpotologist so, I don't know the dimesions but, you cannot get a turkey breast in a $9.99 clearance crock pot. Here's what you need to cook the birdy... water (checkity check), beef or chicken boulion cube and seasonings (you pick - not too much salt though!!) Now, you have to add 4 cups of water to the turkey IF IT DOES NOT HAVE BONES. If it has bones, a cup and a half should work. Put all that jazz in a crock pot, set it to low and go to bed or work and leave it, all day or night. When you wake up or get home you have LOTS of turkey. You can eat it alone and add some veggies, it makes a wrap (I use the spinach wraps, add some marinated artichoke hearts and just a tiny bit of provolone or swiss, melt in the microgoround), the next day turkey salad is jumpin (I add blueberries, walnuts, spicey mustard, cinnamon and greek yogurt).

Now, go out and buy some ground turkey, STAT!

And, check out this Facebook page... Skinny Ms. Slow Cooker

Alright.. I shall holla.


Monday, January 2, 2012

Whoopsie Daisy

Thanks and welcome to all my followers! All lucky 13 of you and a big "WHAT UP" to all you creepers too!

Alright peeps, to clarify a few things. First of all, I am not going on an all salad diet. I would be a salad shooter and that is not something I want to deal with on a daily basis. I just started with adding more greenery to my lifestyle change. Secondly, I am not freaking out over my body. There is no drastic measures to be taken. I'm not running out to get lypo (I'm deathly afraid of needles & have you seen those Dr. 90210 shows, gag it) Nor am I laying at home in a dark room curled up in a ball, bawling why me!? I'm just trying to live a healthier lifestyle and I thought I would let you in on my journey.

My will power is currently still on Christmas break because, last night after blogging my first blog and after eating a hot dog I crawled in bed with my girl to watch a show and I was hungry. I thought to myself, "self, you can do this." I got up, got a handle full of carrots, a couple of those little skinny midget pickles and a spoonful of cottage cheese. Remember, I love cheese and must add it in at any possible occasion. I grab up my healthy snack and turn to head down the hall and I see them, in all their red glory. Red, by the way, is my favorite color. Doritos. Cheesy, crunchy goodness. I caved. Added in a few with my cottage cheese (don't knock it, til you try it) and the journey to healthy is derailed.

Fear not! Today I plan to grocery shop, with my bed ridden sister, who has to drive the little automatic wheelchair rascal because if not the tiny being within her will drop out on the floor and well, I'm not prepared to deliver a baby today and that would be so unsanitary. Anywho! I'm going to work on healthy alternatives to Doritos although, none probably exist. I mean, this is my thinking, you cannot let perfectly good processed food go to waste, can you? There are starving kids in Africa people!!

I'll update later on the healthy meat convo I promised from my first blog post, I've got a bowling party for a 4 year old to attend!

Peace and hair grease or peace and french fry grease?


Sunday, January 1, 2012

{2012} aka Operation Hot Body.

Woah. It's 2012. I'm that girl that still thinks 1995 was about 10 years ago, which I also think was just a little bit ago, which I sometime reference to as a few years ago, which to me feels like yesterday. I was a senior in high school. I hated high school. I was a mean girl. I am sorry. I did ZERO extra curricular activities (well, school oriented ones, for shame). I was too busy seeing and being seen as my dear ol' mama always said. I wore red lipstick daily. Had ridiculously long brunette hair with heavy under-curled bangs & fashion was my main focus. I started working when I was 15 so I could spend money. I haven't stopped (spending money that is, ah-hem). I had top notch design gear from head to toe. I thought I was it. I learned years later, I really was not. I wore a girdle to my senior prom. My prom dress was a size 4. Go figure. Everything in my teenage life was materialistic and pretty good. I knew so little.

Speaking of figure, mine sucks. Bad. I used to have a rockin' hot bod. A rock hard stomach, tig ol' biddies & nice firm bootay and legs like a thoroughbred race horse. Shooweee, I was doin' it. Then, one bad relationship after another, a baby (who will be 6 in 3 days - Oh Em Gee), a lack of motivation, starting a business, then another & another...well, I just said screw it, I'll take a #4 with cheese, large fries & diet coke (you know that evens it out, right?) Now my body is considered "normal." Not obese, not morbidly obese, just normal. Well, from my viewpoint, there ain't nothin' normal about this. My rock hard stomach is now tubular, the nice boobies are now a giant uni-boob, my booty is far from bootylicious and my long sculpted legs look like marbled hairy meat sticks. Grotesque yes, normal? Negative.

I'm throwing it all out there people. Join in and love me or move on and hate me but, here goes. I'm all of 5 feet and 8.5 inches, about 69" tall (what what!) In 1995 I was a wonderful 127 pounds. Today, some 16+ years later I'm tipping the scales at 168. Normal? Yes. Healthy? No.

I took pictures of myself today in my favorite tee tiny itty bitty inappropriate for my age bikini. If I ever get up the nerve to post them biatches on here, well, that is a different story. But, I did it. I'm a professional photographer. I make people look pretty. I make me look pretty. For the past 5 years, my self portraits, snap shots and formal images have been digitally botoxed, liquified, squished, stretched, smoothed and fixed. These are not professional images. These are straight up ghetto, in the mirror snap shots of my gawd awful body. Help me sweet baby geezus.

Why a blog? I don't know. I'm ignorant I guess. I want everyone to wallow in my shallow self pity. As, I sit here and type (with my fat rolls laying over my waist band), I'm rolling my eyes. I'm sarcastic. I'm blogging because I can. Because I'm just a regular ol' girl from Allerbammer, who is SICK AND TIRED OF LOOKING LIKE THIS! Screaming!! Do I need motivation? Yes. Do I have it? Nope. But, I'm working on it.

Today, I started a list of eating habits I need to change. I started a list of different salad options. I googled, I facebooked, I pinned (I am also a pinterest addict). I came up with things that I CAN DO. I love to cook. I just need to cook better and healthier. I want to rid the pantry of box dinners and prepackaged meals and crap. You know the crap, that is so freaking good!! Can I admit that I love the hamburger that helps you make a great meal and comes in a box? It's easy. My girl likes it. It's fat on a platter, k? OH!! And I love CHEESE and bacon and Mexican food and CHEESE and chips and cream cheese (you can put that on anything)!! I can eat better. I need to. I can do this. Wait, can I do this?

Great, now I'm hungry and I just had a hot dog (I didn't say I was going to start RIGHT now).

Here's another thing you should know, I'm a diet junkie. Let's see, I've done the low carb diet, the cabbage diet, Weight Watchers, the heart patient diet, the South Beach diet, the juice cleanse crap, LA Weight Loss, the doc in a box diet pills that make you shat yourself after every meal, and most recently the 17 Day Diet (which worked until I lost interest). I'm sure there are more from over the years, but these are what I can remember off the top of my head.

Goal #1 - Eat more green and less garb.

Salad ideas::

Skinny Cobb Salad - chopped egg whites, tomato, spinach leaves, low fat bleu cheese crumbles, a tee tiny little bit of bacon crumbles and a low fat bleu cheese dressing.

Waldorfy - lettuce, grilled chicken, chopped celery, chopped apples, toasted almonds (because plain ones make me gag) & a splash of lemon juice.

3 Bean - Arugula, yellow wax beans, white beans (can, drain & rinse), chick peas, roasted red pepper, grated low fat parma cheese.

Nicoise (wth?) - Arugula, spinach, cherry tomatoes, green beans, yellow bell pepper, tuna, nicoise olives (OH, guessing we won't have those around here so, I'll go with black), low fat vinaigrette.

Asian Persuasion (kidding) - cilantro, grated carrots, sliced radishes, cremini mushrooms, avocado, chopped tofu.

Blueberry - Spinach leaves, blue berries, low fat feta cheese crumbles, walnuts and some sort of fruity low fat vinaigrette.

I learned that if you mix all your ingredients up first and just use a tiny bit of dressing, it helps the flavor a lot. Especially if you like dressing, like I like dressing!

PSA...I am not a doctor, a nutritionist, a meal planner, chef. I am a "normal" girl well on her way to becoming a "fat" girl. I don't have caloric intake, nutritional information or any of that jazz for anything that I will post...if I do, I copied from some where I will link back. Please and thank you.

There are lots more healthy salad options here... Healthy Salad Option | Whole Living (check it)!

Here's to Operation Hot Body! Whoop Whoop!


Next up... Healthy Meat?